


Memory, Betrayal, and Courage

by DragonofMordor



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonofMordor/pseuds/DragonofMordor
Summary: This is a snapshot of Fingon on the Helxaraxe, pondering the betrayal of Maedhros and company, and wondering what the future in Beleriand will bring.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2020





	Memory, Betrayal, and Courage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neutrophilic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neutrophilic/gifts).



> Hey, so this one is with your prompt of Fingon on the Helcaraxe. I went with your headcanon of Fingon and Maedhros not getting together until post-rescue because I'm going to try to write a get-together one for that as well if I can get it done in time. So this is not strictly shippy, but there are a couple hints.
> 
> I added in the warning for character death just for the mention of Elenwe's death, though it isn't shown.

Fingon shivered and moved closer to his brother for warmth. He was so cold. The small fire in front of them was doing little to warm him. Every inch of his body ached, except for his fingers and toes. Those were tingling and starting to lose feeling altogether. He tried to move his toes around in his boots. He knew he had to keep them moving if he wanted to avoid permanent injury. If they ever made it out of this horror and to their destination, he knew he would need to be ready for whatever was there waiting. Arda was Morgoth’s domain, and none of the Noldor knew what threats they would have to face. And then there was Feanor and his sons.

Fingon closed his eyes as his mind turned to his friend. The betrayal still cut too deep to put to words. How had their friendship come to this? Fingon could still see the fire blazing, burning away his hopes and dreams, burning the feelings he had not had the courage to put to words. The red of the fire mingled with the red hair of his cousin in his mind. He shook his head, trying to clear away the depressing thoughts.

“Here, take some,” Argon said as he passed Fingon some of the fish that had just been cooked over the fire.

Fingon shook his head. He couldn’t eat. The smell of the fish was bringing back memories of picnics in Valinor with Maedhros. He remembered once, a few years ago, when they’d snuck away from their responsibilities for the afternoon. They’d laid out in the sun, laughing with each other as they ate the feast they’d prepared. They’d each brought their favorite fruits and cheeses and then shared with each other. 

“Here, Káno, try this,” Maedhros had said as he fed Fingon a slice of orange fruit. Then he’d rubbed the juice dripping down Fingon’s lip with his finger.

Fingon was not going to let himself cry. Tears would only freeze on his face and make things worse. He was going to be strong. Maedhros had made his choice, and now Fingon had to do the same. Fingon needed to be strong and brave for his father and siblings. 

Fingon spared a glance over at Turgon. He saw only pain in his other brother’s eyes as Turgon glared at him. “Why do you waste time and thoughts on those who left us to this path?” Turgon asked. “Do you think I do not know who your mournful eyes are thinking of? Meanwhile Idril and I are left alone, as are so many others here. The one you think of is safe and warm while we trudge on and continue to suffer.”

“I know, brother,” Fingon said softly. “I mourn with you and those who have lost. Elenwë cruelly taken from you, and my greatest wish is to change all that has happened to you and to us. I am sorry for your pain. Please, let me mourn for what I too have lost. I know we have been betrayed. It cuts me deeply. I can never go back to the friendship that I had in Aman, and it is for that which my heart is grieving.”

Turgon sighed. “We will get through this, brother. We will reach Beleriand and then we will speak to them. We will demand to know why they choose to betray us and we will demand recompense. 

Fingon nodded, but internally he was not convinced. What was done was done, but a demand for redress would only make the conflict continue. Things would never go back to the way they were, but it was time to focus on the future. Morgoth was the enemy, not Feanor. The truth was, they probably needed each other if there was any hope of fighting against Morgoth. Perhaps, when, and if, they eventually arrived, he would try to talk to Maedhros after all. It would be difficult, sure, but if they could start a conversation then maybe things could start to change. Then maybe a real war against Morgoth could begin. It was a plan. 

Fingon stiffened himself and stood up. He was ready now. The Helcaraxe would not stop him. Betrayal would not stop him. Morgoth himself would not stop him. It was time to start moving again.


End file.
